Tuesday, March 01, 2005

The police deserve respect!

The Wayside Tavern is packed full of people. All are having a wonderful time swaying to the music of a VERY good country band. The staff are thriving on being busier than usual, & the carnival atmosphere is vibrant & upbeat!

Mine Host, with a sinking feeling, notices a line of 4 males aged in their late 20's leaning against a wall near the doorway.... Three of them are hangers-on, but one has the unmistakeable features of a complete tosser. The tosser commences aggressively banging against the wall. The sound of it loud enough to be heard accross the room. All the while the tosser is glaring challengingly at Mine Host.

Wearily Mine Host approaches the tosser & suggests the the banging stop. Tosser feigns ignorance & innocence, then aggressivly pins Mine Host to the wall by the neck. The 3 hangers-on give up leaning on the wall & gather behind the tosser.

Mine Host is comforted somewhat by the presence of his secretary who has appeared beside him, (nothing like a witness, & a strong personality to boot) Mine Host is preparing for the head butt which the tosser is readying himself for, (little chance of avoiding it, goodbye to the straight nose) when one of the Wayside Tavern's elderly patrons (aged 70) claps a hand on the tossers arm & authoritively commands him to let go. The tosser lets go purely to prepare to violently smite the elderly man. Suddenly an unexpected melee breaks out from nowhere. A bystander (transpires to be the father-in-law of the tosser) prises away from mine host the tosser, & pushes him out the door.

It has all happened in seconds, mine host is physically unharmed (to begin with it didn't seem like it was going to turn out that way) & has a shredded long white shirt (expensive those things)

The police arrive, summoned by the secretary, to the sight of the tosser stripped to the waist, prancing around on the footpath in the stance of a pugilist, commanding mine host (among others) to come out & "fight". Mine Host is standing nearby in the doorway with shredded shirt & informs the police that the tosser, by now standing sedately on the footpath, has initiated a fair sort of disturbance, refused eviction, assaulted several people, & was the sole cause of the ructions.

The Detective Sergeant attending whispers in the ear of the now miraculously subdued tosser, who takes off like a fox pursued by hounds.

The police then look left & right, then depart, just as soon as the lady constable accompanying the detective sergeant loudly announces "this place needs more security staff". (NB: Security staff can only remove unruly persons from the premises & place them on the footpath, which was the status quo when the police arrived. Police may wear a blue shirt, but this does not prevent them having a broad streak of mental inagility)

It dawned upon Mine Host that the tosser's father & the detective sergeant are friends. Of course there'd be no arrest.

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